Disciplining a toddler is not so obvious especially when they have a limited vocabulary.
How can I be a loving and caring parent and yet being tough at the same time in order to set up boundaries?
My son will be 2 years old next month, and he is at an age where he needs to explore his surrounding.
So, he will be touching anything when he feels like to. Preferably, he is constantly doing the wrong thing (from my point of view).
For him, he’s in a mission of discovery.
For instance, he goes to the bathroom to open the tap and let running the water for no reason.
Another example, he loves opening and closing the sliding bay doors back and forth for a repeated period of time.
Of course, for him it is all fun but obviously not for me.
I don’t mind he does it a couple of time but when for over 5 times, it is definitely too much.
Of course, he cannot see that he can pinch his fingers at any time. Also, the door can be damaged because of excessive use for a short period of time.
As my mom always says: “children don’t see the danger”
As, they cannot evaluate for the moment what wrong or right, it is the responsibility of parents to guide them.
The importance of boundaries
Creating boundaries while raising your children are vital.
If not told what to do, children cannot guess if their behaviors are healthy or not.
They don’t know if their misconduct will affect the well being of somebody else.
That’s why, they need to understand that there are rules to be respected.
From the beginning on (around 18 months, probably earlier), parents are the first who teach their children what is acceptable or not in order to live in a society.
Boundaries have to be clear for the child to follow them.
However, children always try to avoid them.
Therefore, discipline will be the consequence of the non-respect of the rules.
Different types of disciplines
They are different types of disciplines that can be adopted.
Jo Frost, a British television personality, well known for her show ‘Super nanny’ has implemented several techniques for disciplining toddlers. In one of her books, Toddler SOS, she talks about one of her most known technique.
This technique is called ‘the naughty chair’.
It is a step by step technique who explain how to implement it.
If you want to know more about it. You can get her book here.
How can I be a loving mom and yet being tough?
Disciplines are used for a reason. So, I like when I have established proper boundaries that my son follow them.
Of course, he’s is in a journey of learning and testing.
So, he needs to know what will happen if he pursues his experimentation such as rocking a chair.
In addition, as I will tell him to stop, he would be interested to check how I will manage to make him stop.
His daring smile means a lot…
He will eventually stop but will start a few minutes later. Just to see if the rule still apply.
Children know how to drive us nuts!
I love my son unconditionally but it doesn’t prevent me to be tough on him when necessary.
If, I don’t make sure that he is not listening what I am asking for he will always get away with whatever he wants to.
I don’t want get tough for the sake of it but I need to be consistent in my action plan if he refuses to do what asked to do.
For me, it is a proof of love to be firm when necessary because my son will develop in a healthy way knowing boundaries.
It is for his interest that I have to be tough sometimes. Life is not all rosy but it can be challenging and tough. So, he needs to get a strong foundation in order to survive it.
In conclusion, being a loving and tough at the same time is possible when it comes to disciple a toddler.