Stay at home dad is becoming more and more popular.
We are used with mom staying at home, it seems to be de facto the natural option to look after the household and children.
But, who said that it has to be like that?
I met a few dads who were looking after the kids and do the cleaning.
Can they really do it?
I know not all men can do it. I don’t need to go very far for an example.
My husband always tells me that he cannot do what I am doing.
I think he doesn’t have the patience for that.
But, obviously, I would assume that if he had no choice, he will be able to look after my son but it doesn’t mean that he will be able to look after the house at the same time. Without mentioning, he will have to find time to cook as well.
He does help me when he sees that I am busy doing other things or I have to pop out. But, he knows that it is only temporary.
So, obviously he doesn’t mind.
However, I cannot imagine him telling me one day, ‘let’s swap, I stay at home and you go for work’.
It will mean I will need to earn as much as he earns to be able to pay the bills and the mortgage.
What about the other men?
I know a couple like that. The lady loves her job and earns more than her partner.
So, they decided that he would be better that he stays at home while she was the one going to work.
Apparently, it works very well. He does the cooking, cleaning and dropping the two kids at school.
He didn’t mind at all. And, he has been doing that for many years now.
Last time, I spoke to him, that was a few years back. I asked him how did he like his new role.
He was totally fine with it. He added that he realized how much work to do in a house. It is very hard work.
I was glad to hear that because sometimes I find it frustrating that some men underestimate the amount of work to be done in a house. Until, they get into our shoes like that dad, then they only understand how it looks like.
Can we trust them in that role?
I have to admit that I have difficulties to imagine my hubby in this role. When, he looks after our son for a few hours, it is fine. But, can I leave them together for a day or more?
Well, it might turn up to be a very challenging day for both of them.
My husband will be too scared to do that because for instance my son needs me at night to fell asleep.
Maybe, I shouldn’t have giving this habit but this is the way it is.
I really think it is a matter of doing the right thing from the beginning.
For instance, I have a cousin who managed once to leave her daughter who was 7 months at that time travelling with her daddy alone. So, dad and daughter went away for a good month without mom. I was so impressed that she could do that.
Personally, I would have difficulties to do that. It will be big drama and tantrums with his daddy.
Anyway, can we expect that dads are doing things the way we like.
Well, maybe, there might be compromises there.
I remember my cousin mentioning that her partner was great at looking after the girls (meanwhile they have 2 girls). However, when going out, they end up eating not the healthiest food. Dad went for the easiest option, the kids used to have crips and biscuits.
However, I suppose that things must have changed now.
At first, don’t expect your partner to know what to do.
For instance, at the beginning when I used to say to my hubby to look after our son even for a couple of hours. He had to ask me what clothes baby had to wear and what will he have for breakfast.
I was quite astonished at first because I thought that he was not paying attention to what was happening with his son.
And then, I’ve reminded myself that men are so different. That was another example.
For us moms, it seems so logical but not for daddies.
So, if we want things to be done in a certain ways we will have to tell them what to do.
Some might not like it! You will have to test by yourself.
Regarding cleaning the house, I know I would have had issues with that. Of course, I cannot make a general statement but I can say most of men don’t clean the same way that we ladies do.
So having the man doing the cleaning, I don’t know how I will have had to deal with that.
Finally, stay at home dads are very courageous to go for this option. Like moms, they are able to do the job as well.
What do you think about swapping with your partner?