I don’t mind having an only child. I cannot see what the matter with that! But, it seems that people around you have another plan for you!
As soon as you get married or have a long-term relationship with someone, you are frequently asked:
When do you plan to have children? or
Do you plan to have children some day?
Nothing wrong with that even though some people might find this a bit intrusive.
Then, when you feel ready for having a family and baby is finally here, you think: “Well, now I have my child, no one, either a member of the family or friends will bother me anymore about this question!”
Well, I wish!
My son was not even one year old and yet I have been asked when will be the second one?
My first reaction could have been: “Give me a break! ”
I was thinking…”Are they ever going to leave me alone? Wasn’t it the other day that I have just had a baby?” (in case they might have forgotten!)
As, you don’t want to appear ‘aggressive’ or labelled ‘being sensitive after giving birth’ (who knows where this can lead up to!). I had to put a smile on my face and found the most relaxed tone possible. And reply: ” Let me see first how I cope with this one and we will see!”
When I thought “phew, that was not too bad as an answer, at least they will understand!”
In my dreams…
I was miles away from what will happen next.
The Boomerang reply!
The return is coming like a bomb…
“Well, but don’t wait too long, you’re not not getting any younger!”
In other words, you have one at 40 years old so the second should be in a year or two.
Oh my word! It cannot be! I know this sounds crazy but this is the reality. You cannot tell your family or friends to mind their own business, can you?
Then, I am thinking, who said anyway that I wanted to have another child?
If you ever mentioned it loudly as I have done, then catastrophe!
Just One Child?
I met once a mom of three here in a playgroup in London who told me it was not good for my son to be alone. She went on giving me all kind of explanation why I shall consider having at least a second one. I felt lectured by this mother that I didn’t know.
When, I thought that a few minutes ago we were talking about how hard and tiring the role of a mother was. And yet, she was telling me to have more children!
I know that some ladies haven’t necessary chosen to have an only child. But, they felt forced to accept the reality due to circumstances such as health or simply money even though some hate mentioning it.
For me, I don’t mind having just one child even though I have to admit that sometimes it does cross my mind to have a second one.
But, the feeling last just a few minutes because I still find very challenging to deal with my current one.
Anyway, why do I have to justify myself?
The argument most used is that a child who has no siblings to play with will feel bored and there is a risk of being spoiled.
Although I am aware of that, but maybe my son is just happy to be the only child.
I grew up in a big family . I did enjoy playing with my siblings when I was little. However, sometimes, I wish that my mum had more time for me. It might sound selfish but I was the kind of child that needed to have lot of attention.
And, I would not be very surprised that my son is this type of child too. Only the future will tell.
Finally, having an only child can be the choice of parents if they want to. And, they should not feel pressurized to have more to please others. I am personally happy to look after my only son and I know I can give him all the attention he wants to.
And you? What are your thoughts on having an only child.