When you are a first time mom, you can easily be overwhelmed by your new life, which can quickly lead to burnout.
As a new mother, how can you prevent to be exhausted through overwork?
Already just after giving birth, you are more likely to be very tired. You start your new life as a mother being exhausted after labor or simply after pregnancy.
And, yet, you have to look after your baby who is very much dependent of you.
Once your little one is here, you have to be ready and available at any moment. It can be every hour or less, depending of the type of baby you have.
I remember when my son was just a few days old, I could not move from the bed without hearing him crying. He used to rest his little cheek on my breast just after the feed. As soon as I have to move, either to drink water or going to the bathroom, he would cry. I was clearly the slave of my son.
He used to latch on constantly and my breast was like a dummy for him. As a matter of fact, he never like dummies.
Don’t try to be superwoman!
As a woman, in general, we like to do a lot and we are even able to do several things at once.
Prior to be a mom, I used to work for a spa as a complementary therapist. Also, I have my own clients as well independently from the spa. I could combine the two works. Sometimes, I will see one of my own client in the morning and then carry on in the afternoon in the spa.
In addition, I used to volunteer in a hospital as a reflexologist once a week.
Hold on, it’s not finished…Then; I went to college twice a week for two different training.
I know, it sounds like crazy. But, that was my life and I enjoyed it (ok, a bit tiring actually)
Well, now I am a mother, I can forget all this. I cannot even do half of what I used to do.
In fact, you can no longer act like you have no baby. You cannot continue to do the entire household or your previous activities while baby is here. The chances are you will end up very exhausted.
Unfortunately, you are not superwoman; and you should not be shy to ask for help.
New Mom: Do not refuse any help
After two weeks of life of my son, I was fortunate to have the help from one of my sisters.
It was so necessary and helpful; I could see the end of the tunnel. Seriously!
I even regretted that I told her to come only the second week instead of coming from the very beginning. Actually, my husband was there the first two weeks, God bless him, he did great but you know how it is the touch of a lady (besides a sister).
Anyway, he, then, went back to work. So, I asked my sister to come over from Paris to give me a hand. She had been very great and I am still so thankful for her help.
So, for first time new mum, my best piece of advice is to accept every and any help possible.
You will be amazed to realize how much freedom you have lost the first days of life of your baby. Even to take a shower become challenging.
So once somebody is here to help you, she can hold baby while you go to the bathroom.
Also, you will be able to rest while your friend or family member is cooking and tidying up for you.
Sleep while baby is sleeping
I read numerously time in books, articles, or heard from friends and being told by midwives, that you should sleep while baby is sleeping.
Surely, this is possible when you’ve got the help from your family or friends for the first few weeks. But what do you do when they are gone?
It is easy to say you sleep while baby is sleeping. But, the house needs to be cleaned. I need to eat. Who will be doing all this for me? Unless you have the money to pay somebody to do it, this is fine then.
But, I don’t… at least not for every day.
So, at the end of the day, you, the mom will be doing the housework.
When you think that you’ll rest afterwards, you can forget it because your little one will just woke up as soon as you put your head on the pillow. Then, it will happen again and again, until you will feel the burnout.
Anyway, there were moment that I was so tired that my body could not follow any longer. So it was only at this point, I had to stop and just go to bed while baby was sleeping.
Once I got exhausted, I couldn’t care less in which state the house was, all I knew was I had to sleep in order to function properly and look after my son.
My husband would come home and found a big mess.
Involving Daddy!
I know some men would see the mess and understand that you need help. At the beginning, my husband would more or less assume that I needed help for the housework.
Unfortunately, when time goes by, a few months after, I had to ask him for help.
Most of the time, the behavior of their partner puts off some ladies. Women won’t understand why their men cannot see when they have to help.
Remember? Men come from another planet…So, once you’ve this in mind, you just accept that they are different. They do not see things the same way as we do.
So, you have to ask them for help.
But, sometimes, what it could have been with my husband for instance, he used to see me handling several projects at once. I think he used to see me like a very strong lady and all a sudden, it seemed that I got overwhelmed and he was a bit puzzled.
Anyway, maybe I was wrong but I had to remind him that I had to look after another human being and it was not so easy.
Also, you have to involve the father in the day-to-day baby’s life development.
By involving your husband, you can have some rest like this.
Get a massage to get relax
Prior to be a mum, I used to get a massage regularly. I missed it so much once baby was here.
My little one was so dependent that I couldn’t leave him with his daddy for an hour. Anyway, I think my husband was too scared to stay on his own with baby.
It’s when my son was 5 months old that I finally managed to have my first massage.
Then, I had a second one, but no more because I was busy doing other things.
However, I will try to get a massage once a month. The feeling after a massage is just what you need to get relaxed.
Finally, as a new mom, you can easily get burnout, the most importantly is to recognized the signs and take action before it gets complicated.
I will be happy to hear from you. What do you do to avoid being too exhausted?
