When I was pregnant, I had an idea about the parenting style I would use.
The incredible thing is, even when I was very young, I remember I had all kind of theories about raising kids.
And, you know how is life!
Life always has to teach you a lesson when you think you know everything.
I don’t know what I was thinking but it is obvious that every child is different. So, there is no way that one theory fits all.
Also, there were situation where I saw parents behaving certain ways with their children. And, I thought I would have done differently. I thought I could do things like this or like that when I will have my own children.
But, it is so easy when you don’t have children yet to think that you can do better than others.
Of course, the more you think you know, the more you get challenged. This is my opinion, maybe I am wrong.
Well, I cannot say that I had the pretension to know a lot about raising children but I still had some concept that I thought I could apply for my son.
How wrong, I was!
It is not because I come from a big family or look after my niece and cousin that I would be good at raising children.
However, I can still use this experience to my parenting skills
What is your parenting style?
While reading the famous parenting book called “The baby book” written by parents and pediatricians. I have realized that I naturally used the parenting style called ‘attachment parenting style’.
I didn’t know it was called like that until I read it from that book.
I like this way of parenting because I believe that being closed to your child and giving all the love he needs is the best way to go. And love is everything. I believe that my son can only thrive in a loving and caring environment.
I don’t need to have any scientific proof for telling me if ‘the attachment parenting style’ works or not.
For me, I use common sense.
But, obviously, I still need to be adaptable. Of course, I have to do some adjustment depending on the situation I face.
I mainly use my intuition and gut feeling in my way of parenting.
However, it doesn’t mean I am not seeking for help in case of doubt or if I am not getting result for a particular case.
Actually, when I go for the baby clinic, I do ask questions for certain matter every time I go there.
I am raising my son with an open mind.
What is attachment parenting?
According to the book mentioned earlier, the baby book, they break down the attachment parenting into 7 baby’s B.
The seven B’s are:
1. Birth bonding,
2. Belief in the signal value of your baby’s cries or scream
4. Baby wearing
5. Bedding close to your baby
6. Boundaries and balance
7. Beware of baby trainers.
As, said, I have already naturally used this way of parenting as I think it bring the best out of my baby and myself.
If you have read my previous post, you will know that I do still breastfeed my 22 months old toddler.
But, I still hope to stop at the end of the year.
Regarding believing in the signal value in my baby’s cries, I’ve definitely followed my gut feeling. Even today, I know when my son really needs something and when he just cries for getting attention.
And, even if it’s just for attention, I still pay attention to the message. In my opinion, It does mean that he needs me somehow.
I can always talk to him and make him understand that I cannot spend all my time with him. For instance, he needs to be playing sometimes on his own.
Also, another point mentioned is to be aware of baby trainers.
Tell me about that! Baby trainers are people who can be parents themselves or not and want to teach how to raise your own children. They are everywhere, they can be a friend or member of your family.
At some point, we all get them in our way once becoming a parent.
I don’t know how many time, I have received advice from people telling me what I should be doing or not. For instance, I have been told to stop breastfeeding.
Or, when Joshua was a baby, I have been told several time that I carried him too often, etc.
Finally, each parent knows better what parenting style works best for their children.